Time, Memory, and History
by starry-oblivion
Summary: Everyone takes risks. Inuyasha watches as his friends each risk themselves to defeat Naraku. What can he do now, having lost everything but his memories?


The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

-JRR Tolkien

Inuyasha moved to wrap his red haori more tightly around him. When his fingers brushed through nothing but air, the hanyou looked down. He was wearing only his white shirt, and it was torn to shreds. Cursing under his breath, he realized that he had given his jacket to Kagome to protect her from the fire.

He trudged on, his feet numb from the snow. It was times like these when he wished that he had worn those things that Kagome wears on her feet. What were they called again? Oh yes. Shoes. Clunky things that would probably hinder his running, but he saw now that they had their uses.

Inuyasha shivered. He wrapped his arms around himself, his silver hair billowing in his face. Even his hair was frozen, and he bit back a whimper every time an icy strand touched more of his exposed skin. It wasn't his wounds that were going to kill him; it was the cold.

He wanted to cry. There was really nothing else to do. He had lost all, everything… everyone. Kikyou had finally found peace in death, sacrificing her second chance at life to save them all. He had watched as her body of bone and clay broke underneath Naraku's tentacles as the hellish being burned.

Shippou had caused the fire. Who would think that the little kitsune had enough strength to cause a fire so profound? Inuyasha least of all expected it. But it was Shippou who, seeing Kagome unconscious on the ground, had taken matters into his own paws.

The kit had searched through Kagome's backpack, finding that thing that she sprayed in her hair to keep it stiff. He had remembered Kagome telling him to not let her bag near any fire, because there were certain things in there that were highly flammable. His jaw set in a hard line, Shippou ran for Naraku, getting caught in the beast's tentacles as he did so. Naraku brought the little kitsune to his face, his eyes black and evil, thinking he had claimed the life of the small boy. Shippou sprayed the hairspray into the evil hanyou's face, crying out "Kitsune-bi" as he threw a small blue fireball at him. The fireball turned into an inferno, and the boy only had enough time to realize that he had indeed saved his friends before he died.

Sango, overcome by grief, shrieked when she saw the boy's body dropped from Naraku's grip, already burned beyond recognition. She swung her giant boomerang Hiraikotsu at the flaming mass. For what reason, she did not know. But the leather straps that she used to grip the weapon caught fire, sending flames all along the path that Hiraikotsu traced. As it headed back for the stunned taijya, Miroku grabbed her from behind and pushed her out of the way. Though he managed to get the woman he loved out of harm's way, Hiraikotsu caught him in the back of his head. He fell behind her. Kirara dashed onto the scene and nudged Sango urgently, telling her mistress that it was time that they leave. Sango got steadily to her feet and climbed atop of the neko, but her eyes widened when she saw an unmoving Miroku on the ground. "Houshi-sama!" Kirara took to the sky, taking her dazed taijya to safety. Sango protested and tried to get Kirara to go back to Miroku, but to no avail. The youkai had already sensed that it was too late for the cursed houshi.

Inuyasha quickly took off his fire rat's fur jacket and wrapped Kagome in it. The girl's eyes fluttered open. "Inu… yasha?" Inuyasha looked down at her with soft amber eyes. He wiped the blood away from the gash on her forehead. "I'm here, Kagome."

Kagome's eyes flashed in fear as she saw something behind the hanyou. "Inuyasha, watch out!" He turned and saw that, despite the fact that he was still aflame, Naraku's large youkai form was making its way towards them. Inuyasha jumped to his feet, pulling Kagome to hers. "Run!" She looked at him and asked, "Run where?" Unsheathing Tetsaiga, Inuyasha replied, "Run back to the well!"

"Inuyasha, I'm not going to leave you!" Inuyasha was about to turn to her when a tentacle snaked out at them. He tackled Kagome to the ground, just missing the attack. "Dammit," he cried out, standing and yanking the girl back up. She yelped as he screamed at her. "Don't you get it? You don't have any arrows! You can't use your miko powers without any bow and arrows!" She tried to interject. "That's not true-." The hanyou grabbed her wrist. "You're a liability to me," he snarled, pulling her onto his back as he ran for the well.

Kagome wrapped her arms around his chest, only now noticing the beating that Inuyasha had taken before Shippou caused the fire. Though she was still unaware of the kitsune and houshi's deaths, a tear trailed down her cheek. Inuyasha could smell the salt and felt a pang of guilt, but wasn't allowed to fully accept this emotion before he caught on that they were being chased by Naraku.

_Shit_, he thought, but was glad to see that they were almost by the well. Without stopping, he reached behind him and grabbed Kagome's waist, pulling her off of him. Grabbing her arm, he flung her a few steps in front of him. "Go!" He turned around sharply and took hold of Tetsaiga, screaming out, "_Kaze no kizu!!_"

Inuyasha blinked stupidly when he saw that Naraku, hurt as he was, was still able to create a barrier. With a bitter smirk, he thought, _Keh, no problem._ His Tetsaiga turned red as he ran and hurled himself at the barrier, getting ready to break through it. He was caught by surprise when one of Naraku's tentacles whipped out and pushed him away. He flew backwards, into Kagome (who had been standing there in shock), and the two of them flew the rest of the way towards the well.

Hearing a weak groan under him, Inuyasha realized that he was lying on top of the petite girl. He quickly got to his feet. "Kagome!" She was all right, only stunned. Her hands were reaching out to the side of the well, trying to get to her feet. "Kagome," he said, more quietly. "Gomen." With that, he picked the girl up and let her drop into the well, quickly giving her his back and looking back towards Naraku. He heard her gasp, but quickly blocked out all thoughts other than getting rid of Naraku.

He reached a clawed hand into his pocket. He still had the mostly-completed Shikon no Tama in his possession after Kagome had given it to him to help him strengthen Tetsaiga. He didn't doubt that it was the essence of the jewel that spurred Naraku on.

"Just you and me, bastard," he growled. Tetsaiga still red, he jumped in the air and lunged for the disgustingly huge conglomerate of youkai. Naraku charged at him and swung out an arm, easily knocking Inuyasha aside.

The hanyou crashed against a tree, Tetsaiga falling out of his grasp. It landed several yards away from him, transforming back into a rusty old sword. Inuyasha gasped and, though his vision blurred from his various injuries, ran for the sword. Naraku beat him to it.

Inuyasha looked up at the flaming monster, who was now laughing diabolically as he stepped backwards. "Baka," he told Naraku. "You know that if I don't have that, I just become a full youkai. Then I can _really_ kick your ass!"

"I know," said the thing with the melting skin. The flames seemed to have magically subsided. "That will only make things more interesting." Naraku was standing with his back to the well. Without looking behind him, he guided Tetsaiga over the well's opening. Inuyasha's eyes widened. If Naraku threw the sword into the well, Inuyasha wouldn't be able to retrieve it. Going into the well would transport him into Kagome's time, and Naraku would be given the chance to get away. But if he didn't have Tetsaiga, then he was stuck with using nothing but his fangs and claws to deliver the parting blows.

Naraku chuckled sinisterly. He unwrapped his fingers from Tetsaiga's hilt and what happened next seemed to occur in slow motion. It would live in Inuyasha's mind forever.

As Tetsaiga fell, a hand reached out from the well and took hold of it. Kagome lunged out of the well, Tetsaiga in her hand, and latched her free arm around Naraku's waist. "I don't _need_ a bow and arrow," she screeched. Tetsaiga was engulfed by a strange bluish-white light as she thrust it through Naraku's torso. The creature's eyes widened. She had pierced his heart.

A loud scream boomed throughout the winter's night. A flood of youkai poured out of Naraku's gaping mouth. Surprised, Kagome ripped Tetsaiga out of Naraku. She lost her balance and fell back into the well. Inuyasha jumped to his feet, but the amount of jyaki being emitted by Naraku forced him to step backwards. Naraku, too, stepped backwards. The difference was that the well was behind him. He lost his footing and crashed backwards, his enormous body colliding with the shaky wooden structure of the well.

"_Nooo!!_" Inuyasha ignored the jyaki and ran forwards, but it was too late. Naraku's heavy armor-clad body had done the one thing that Inuyasha had not expected would ever happen. The well was destroyed. His sword- and his Kagome- were on the other side. He would never see either one again.

Now, staggering in the snow towards a certain demise, Inuyasha remembered the loss he felt. He hadn't even stayed to watch Naraku fully come to an end. When he realized that he had lost the woman he loved before he ever had the chance to tell her he loved her, he ran off, not seeing, not hearing, not feeling.

Not caring.

_How can I ever care about anything now that she's gone from me forever?_ Inuyasha stumbled onto his knees, the cold and his wounds finally getting to him. _This is it. At least I can die in peace, knowing that Naraku is gone and that Kagome is where she belongs. She will even have my jacket and sword to remember me by. _He allowed his numb body to sink into the bitterly cold snow. _She'll be able to go to school and take her tests and be with her friends… the people who love her and are actually not afraid to tell her so. She will be able to fall in love with a full-blooded human, without having to worry about her future children being taunted for being part youkai. She'll be safe from the advances of that wimpy wolf and she'll never have to lug that huge bag of hers around the forest anymore. She can be normal. She can be… what I never was._

He felt something foreign stinging his eyes and realized that he was crying. He had not cried since that day that he had thought that Kagome, Sango, and Miroku were killed in the fire set by Renkotsu. And now… now he was crying because he knew that Kagome was alive and well?

Inuyasha let out a sob, the first that he had ever allowed to escape his lips in his life. A strange, warm sense of sleepiness suddenly threatened to overcome him, and he decided to let it come, let it take him away from this pain. Maybe he would eventually be reincarnated in Kagome's time and be able to see her face once more, wondering why it looked so familiar to him.

He let a wave of blackness pass over his eyes.

Something burned Inuyasha's tongue. He tried to reject it, but a familiar voice murmured, "You need it," and pressed what he assumed to be a bowl against his lips. His reflexes winning, he swallowed the liquid that was being offered. _Saké_, he realized. _Very strong saké_. No, it wasn't quite saké. It was some other form of alcohol… and it burned much worse than saké.

His eyes fluttered open. He realized that his head was on someone's lap. He was by a small fire in a simple hut. He looked up at the person giving him drink. "Kaede-baba?"

Wincing, he tried to sit up. The old miko helped him, putting the bowl down. "I thought," he coughed, his voice hoarse. "I thought you were killed… when Naraku attacked the village." The miko put a shrewd yet sad smile on her face. "You insult me, Inuyasha. I would think that you had more faith in my strength than that."

"Is everyone else-…?" Inuyasha couldn't bear to finish the statement. Kaede looked down. Seeming to need to get her wits about her before she could continue, she said, "The village is gone. Everyone has been destroyed. A young boy helped me escape by putting me in this old shed on the outskirts of the village. Though the confusion made it difficult to tell-" At this, she looked at Inuyasha, her eye gleaming with dim hope. "-it seemed like the brother of Sango-chan."

Inuyasha took this into consideration and gave her a nod. He noticed that someone had draped a black haori over his bare shoulders. His shirt had been removed and his chest was laden with bandages. A look at them reminded him of Kagome's effective bandages from her time. Trying not to allow his voice to catch in his throat, he asked, "What about… Sango herself? And Miroku and Shippou?"

Kaede looked down, pretending to be preoccupied with warming her hands by the fire. "Sango-chan is the one who found you. She was on her neko and they spotted you, bringing you to me. She is outside now. You have been unconscious for a few days, and much of the snow has melted. She is sitting down with her neko." She paused for a moment. Inuyasha did not press her. He had a feeling that he knew what she was going to say.

Still averting his gaze, Kaede finished. "She is mourning the passing of Miroku-sama and Shippou-kun."

Inuyasha inhaled deeply. _Dead? Both of them… dead?_ He stammered for a bit, then looked down, not knowing what to say. Kaede carefully went on. "Miroku died protecting Sango. He was struck by Hiraikotsu." Inuyasha clenched a hand into a fist, his claws grazing his palm. "Shippou died in the fire that he had created to save you." The claws dug into Inuyasha's flesh, drawing blood. He rammed his fist down into the earthen ground, letting out a frustrated cry. Kaede flinched.

The hanyou trembled, overcome by a wave of sadness. He remembered the tears that fell out of Shippou's eyes when he thought that Kagome, Sango, and Miroku had died, despite his rather valiant efforts to save them. He remembered that, though he bashed the boy every chance he got, he would still never dare leave him alone at night. He remembered how the kitsune clung to Kagome as though she were his mother. Inuyasha recalled how there were times when he would embrace Kagome and smell the boy's scent on her, and smiled dimly. _And now… now both scents are gone forever._

And Miroku…. He would never again hear the lecherous monk ask a woman to bear his child. He would never fulfill his promise to Sango after having proposed to her. And, though Naraku was finally destroyed, he will never be able to look upon his right hand and see the _kazaana_ gone. Though a lech, Miroku had had dreams of a family, of a normal life… much the same way Inuyasha did. And now that the freedom to do so was finally here… Miroku was not.

Inuyasha felt the tears fall down his cheeks and stood, turning away from Kaede. The sudden movement made him dizzy, but he put his arms into the sleeves of the haori and walked to the door of the shed. "Where are you going, Inuyasha?" Inuyasha stopped, then opened the door, tightening the haori around himself. Without looking at the miko, he quietly replied, "I need to speak to Sango."

He left Kaede alone, closing the door behind him. He saw Sango sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree. As he walked over to her, Inuyasha saw that she was absently stroking the small Kirara with one hand while the other hand balanced something on her knee. Nearing her, his heart squeezed itself into his throat as he saw what it was. She was holding Miroku's staff.

He stopped a few feet away from her. After a moment, she looked up at him blankly. Her eyes were red, and new tears made her large eyes shimmer in the sunlight. They stared at each other for a moment before she emotionlessly stated, "He's dead."

Inuyasha didn't know how to respond to this. He stood with his arms to his side, dimly realizing that one hand was bloodied from when he received the news of their friends' deaths. "He's dead," she repeated. "He's dead and I loved him and he's dead because of me."

The new tears that had threatened to spill overflowed as her voice cracked. Kirara looked up at her, worried, and nuzzled against the taijya's leg. Not knowing what else to do and hating more than anything to see a girl cry, Inuyasha closed the distance between them, fell to his knees, and embraced her. She clung to him as she sobbed against his shoulder. "He's gone," she murmured softly between sobs. "He's gone and I loved him and he's dead because of me."

"He loved you too," Inuyasha told her gently. "He loved you so much that he risked himself for you." This made Sango cry even harder and Inuyasha tightened his grip on her, thinking briefly of Kikyou. She had allowed herself to die a second time… because of him. Does that mean that, in the end, she finally shook off the cruel switch that Naraku had made fifty years prior and realized that she still loved Inuyasha? Loved him enough to end her second life for him?

Sango slowly pulled back and looked at Inuyasha strangely. He hadn't realized that he had also been crying again. He normally would have sucked in his tears and vowed revenge on the person who had done this… but revenge had already been served. And revenge was not as sweet as some people say.

He let go of her and stood in front of her, putting his hands in his pockets. He felt the smooth roundness of the Shikon no Tama. There were a few imperfections in it resulting from missing shards. Two of these shards were in Kouga's legs. The other one…

Sango's eyes had followed Inuyasha's hands. As though reading his thoughts, she said, "Kohaku is still alive." Inuyasha nodded. He wondered if Kaede had told her about who she thought had saved her life. Sango stood up suddenly, putting herself only a few centimeters away from Inuyasha. Surprised, Inuyasha stepped backwards as he saw Sango's eyes fall upon him, inexplicably fiery. As though accusing him, she said, "You will _never_ get the shard from him."

Understanding that Sango feared that he would kill Kohaku in order to complete the jewel, Inuyasha shook his head. "I don't intend to." Inuyasha saw the fire leave Sango's eyes as he turned his head to look out into the horizon.

"I have no use for the jewel. I don't wanna become a full youkai anymore. This was what drove Naraku, and I've realized that having a common goal made us much too similar. And so…. So I had decided to become a full human… for Kagome."

Inuyasha stopped, determined to keep his tears back. After letting this sink in, the taijya asked, "What… what happened to Kagome-chan?" Inuyasha exhaled deeply, then looked back at Sango. He saw a deep concern in her eyes, and knew that she was thinking the unthinkable. "She's okay," he answered. "She's back where she belongs."

Confused as to why this would make Inuyasha look so forlorn, realization slowly crept into Sango's eyes. "Is she ever coming back?" Inuyasha shook his head. "The well was destroyed. Naraku's last evil deed before she managed to kill him."

"Naraku… is dead? Killed by Kagome-chan?" Though the sadness still lurked in her eyes, a look of relief poured over Sango. "So then… Kohaku…?"

"Kohaku now belongs to no one. He is free." Inuyasha allowed a small smile to surface. "Go find him."

"Kirara!" The neko immediately transformed into her larger state, and Sango jumped atop of her. She looked back at Inuyasha. "I cannot waste any time," she said, as though explaining herself. "He is probably lost, cold, hungry-"

Inuyasha nodded. "I understand." He paused, a small frown meeting Sango's smile. "This may be the last time we see each other, though." Sango's smile fell from her face. "What do you mean?"

"I can't stay here. It's my duty to tell the others who are out for Naraku's blood that he's gone now. And I also need to make sure that the youkai who feel comfortable to move around _don't_."

"But, Inuyasha… you can always come back." Inuyasha shook his head lightly. "I have no reason to. This will only bring back painful memories."

Sango seemed about to object, but then slowly nodded. "I understand, Inuyasha." Swallowing back yet more tears, she reached a hand out to him. They grasped one another's arms. In a soft voice, she told him, "I will never forget you, Inuyasha. If you ever need me, you know where to find me."

Inuyasha nodded. The only reason he didn't smile was because he felt that moving his face more than necessary would lead to this being a teary goodbye, and he hated teary goodbyes. "Arigato, Sango. Now go. Your brother needs you."

Sliding her hand away from him, she motioned over to the staff she had left on the ground. "Ask Kaede-sama to… use that as a marker… for the grave." Inuyasha nodded. "I'll take care of it. Now go." She smiled and let out something that sounded like a laugh combined with a sob. "Sayonara, Inuyasha-san," she said as Kirara flew away.

Watching after the taijya and her neko, Inuyasha wondered over the suffix she had placed at the end of his name. The only one who still used a suffix for him was Myouga. It was a strange feeling indeed. He stooped to pick up the staff and looked up at the disappearing forms in the sky. "Sayonara… Sango-chan." He gripped the staff tightly and looked at the rings encircling its tip. Softly, he added, "Sayonara, … houshi-sama… Shippou-kun." A single tear trickled down his face as he turned and walked back towards the shed.

A sharp wind blew, guiding the words to where only those who had been intended to hear them were able to understand them.

Inuyasha walked through the woods, wearing a new shirt. Kaede had mended one for him while he had been "asleep." The black haori that came from an unknown source was still draped around his shoulders. In his hand, Inuyasha had a small bouquet of wild flowers.

He was walking towards the remains of the well. Though he knew (or rather, prayed that) Kagome wasn't dead, he knew that he needed to mourn for her. He would never see her again, and so needed to let go, and treat her as another person in his past. He had paid his last respects to Miroku and Shippou, and had bid Sango and Kaede farewell; now was the time for the final goodbye before he began a new chapter of his life.

He closed his eyes, able to navigate through this forest blinded. He inhaled deeply, and shuddered when he realized that he was still able to pick up on Kagome's scent. That smell would be committed to memory until his dying day.

When Inuyasha opened his eyes, he was in front of the well. Naraku's body was gone, probably disintegrated. The wooden shaft of the well was crumbled and shattered. But… Inuyasha was wracked with shock when he saw what was folded neatly atop of the splintered wood.

His red haori.

He blinked, his mouth suddenly dry. He knelt before it, on the still-present snow, and ran his fingers through it lightly. _How?...How?..._. He picked the haori up and saw that underneath, the passage of the well was still there. Though the journey would now be rocky, the link between his and Kagome's times was still there.

Inuyasha unfolded the haori. A small note fluttered to the ground. Picking it up, Inuyasha read through it. It was a poem. A haiku. It was written in the same small, elegant handwriting that he had seen in all of Kagome's notebooks.

Time is a river

Memory is a forest

And history repeats.

Inuyasha held the piece of paper to his chest. _She was here… and she will always be here._ But what could he do? He _did_ have a duty, as he had told Sango. He had scores to settle with the wimpy wolf and with his brother, he owed it to Mushin and Hachi to inform them about Miroku, and his own curiosity made him wonder what happened to Kagura.

Inuyasha looked down, his bangs covering his eyes. _Yes, I still have something to do. You'll probably find Kaede and Sango and they'll tell you that I left. And then you'll go back to your time, and you'll complete _your_ duty, too. You'll take your "tests," and you'll pass 'em. You'll go on your "dates," and you'll enjoy 'em._ He looked up, smiling to himself. _But you'll know that I never abandoned you._

He removed the black haori and replaced it with his own. Carefully, trying to mimic Kagome's perfection, he folded the haori the way his had been and put it down in the same spot. He placed the flowers that he had picked for Kagome on top of the haori and weighed them down with a small, flat stone.

_Wait for me, Kagome_, he thought as he got to his feet, adjusting his haori. _I was willing to die and wait 500 years to be reincarnated for you. So you damned well better wait for me._ He grinned and turned around, his fingers going into his pocket and wrapping around the jewel again. His other hand still held onto the haiku that Kagome had written for him.

_Maybe I can kick the wimpy wolf's ass. The jewel will be strong enough with only Kohaku's piece missing, right?_ He didn't even have to question what it would be strong enough for. He knew. He brushed a silver lock of hair from his face and wondered what it would be like, seeing raven black hair on his head forever. _Just like Kagome's._

He smiled at that thought, and began walking.


End file.
